Plain Jane. Nope, Plain Joyce.

According to one of my friend, I am ugly and fat. So to self describe:

My name is Joyce.

I am short, fat, and ugly. Ok, maybe not exactly ugly... Average looking, or maybe, below average.

I am suppose to be glad that I can find a bf. "wow! there's actually a guy who wants you!" Thinking to myself while looking into the mirror. Maybe coz my bf is blind, and my ex-bf is blind. Now I know why most people describe me as 'CUTE'. Coz when you are not pretty enuff and people wanna praise you, they will describe you as 'CUTE' as it sounds nice enuff. Then people will console you saying "nah..looks is not the most important thing you know"...

Maybe that's the reason for the following things that happened or NOT happening to me:

:: My bf dun intro me to his frenz ::
:: My bf dun give me attention ::
:: My bf dun take photos with me ::
:: No guys like me apparently coz I'm 'CUTE' ::
:: People dislike me ::
:: People 'cheat' me ::
:: Frenz treat me like 'spare-tyre' ::
:: Frenz bf treat me as a kind of entertainment ::
:: I can't seems to get nice clothes ::
:: I can't seem to get enuff of make-up ::
:: I need to spend much on my hair ::
:: I dun look good in photographs ::
:: I can't get a job ::
:: Most gals like being frenz with me (u noe the logic - pretty gals are usually hated by gals) ::
:: Family members dote on me (coz im pitiful) ::

and many more.....

Sad Life. I must have done much evil in my previous life.

I am Single

Joyce is now self-declaring she's single.

She is serious this time.

No joke, not a prank.

She has done her utmost effort.

She can now see clearly where the problem lies.

She's facing the fact after 5 damn years.

She's gonna be strong and move on.

"As long as you have tried your best...NEVER regret in what you do...." - Karin Loh

My deepest heartfelt condolence

Jon lost his dad yesterday, 19th April 2005.

I felt sorry but I dun noe wat to say and do.

I feel lost for not being able to help.

The pain of losing someone u love is so intense that it could kill.

They are stronger than I thought and I hope they really are.

"Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live." - Tuesday with Morrie

Baby Joyce

Yesterday I was searching for my aunt's wedding photo & I happened to see an album of my childhood.

Me:"Eh! Who is this baby? So cute! Izzit me??"

My Sis & Dad: Look at me & rolled their eyes.

Haha..but they all admited that I was cute! Notice I use the word 'was'? Sad.



1 year old me!



Ooh...so cute! :P

Boyfriends, friend or foe?

I think they fall under both 'Love' and 'Hate' category. We do silly things for our boyfriend when we love them and ironically, we do silly things to/for them too when we hate them. So, why do women make their life so miserable by committing into relationships & getting themselves a boyfriend? The answer is actually very simple - Women need the sense of security and the shower of love from men. However, men tends to not understand these two simple basic needs of women.

Boyfriend often have no idea that putting in some little effort for lover can very much help to salvage shaky relationship. Most of the time, boyfriend doesn't seems to get it right on what their girlfriend wants. Most boyfriends encounter this problem - he often feels that he have not done anything wrong but yet, his girlfriend is obviously very unhappy with him. Now guys, let me solve this mystery for you. It is because you often do the right thing at the wrong time and do the wrong thing at the right time. Still scratching your head? Ok, let me quote an example. You commented when you are not suppose to (like, hey you shouldn't eat that, it's fattening), and did not comment when you are suppose to (when your girlfriend is seeking your advise). You get a clearer picture now?

I know, I know. I have to admit women are the 'most difficult to understand' creatures on earth. But has it ever crosses the men's mind that it is partly because they are insensitive? Their insensitivity makes women hate to love them but also, love to hate them.

If both sexes are willing to play their part well, this love-hate relationship could be turned into a love-love relationship. Men juz need to provide women the two basic needs, sense of security (protect your girlfriend, mentally and physically. Let them know no matter what, you wouldn't leave them) and shower of love (understand her and listen to her). Women, you might want to make life easier for your boyfriend. Men's brain is not created to play guessing game, they are very bad at it. So, let your boyfriend know what is on your mind.

However, there are men whose brain is made of wood (I'm "honoured" to know one). Wood will never understand the things you say (hello, am I speaking alien language here?) and even if he does, he wouldn't take any action (I guess it's because wood got no limbs).

Somehow, things are easier said than to be done. Maintaining a relationship is never easy and it takes much effort and compromising.

Boyfriend - someone whom we love so much that we can't live without but wish to live without at times.

The Light of My Life

A tribute to all my friends for standing by me during the darkest moments of my life.
(Not in any particular form of order):

Serene

Thanx for listening to all my stories on every Wednesday during French class. Really appreciate your understanding even though you are so stressed out by schoolwork :) oh, and I love the sandwiches.

Karin

Thanx for asking how am I everday on msn without fail. I know you have plenty of problems of your own but yet, you alwayz spare a thought for me. And you are there for me when your bf bullies me :) That's wat stonez are for ya! Oh.. many thanx for helping me to search for the Adidas Shoes.

Zhiwei

Really appreciate your gesture of going all the way out to get me the Michael Buble cd and the keyboard delivery. Thanx for listening to me on msn even when I was so agitated and 'blasting' you with all the colorful languages. You have been there for me for the past 10 years & I noe, you'll be here by my side in the future too rite? :)

Jincheng

Umm...you have been so busy with Karin huh? haha...but well, thanx for NOT noticing the effects on my designed wallpaper. For awhile, you distracted my mind of my problems :) Get well soon ya my 'more than good friends'.

Alex

Thanx for giving me 'sound' advice while you are busy at work. But ironically, sometimes your analysis kinda make sense too. Anyway, you still owe me cheesecake.

Sister

You are more than a sister, you are my best friend. Thanx for listening to me & helped analyse and solved my problems. You made my mind clearer and got me thinking alot. You are alwayz there to take care of me no matter rain or shine. After mum left, you've taken over mummy's role and takes great care of me & dad. Love you alwayz.

Yong

Things were not good with you recently & we've faced lots of difficulties in our relationship. But I really have to thank you for your good temper. You have never once throw tantrum at me over these 5 years even when I've totally lost control of my temper. I know you dote on me but somehow, I juz wanted more. Hope we can pull through this tough period, together.

Thanx for being there friends, you have brighten up my life and make it easier for me to walk through the tough path of life. I noe I am not alone, coz you will be my side and walk with me. Love you :)

Updates! Updates!

Wow wow...it has been 2 wks since I last blogged. Haiz.. was kinda busy during that period of time. Yah i noe, my frenz muz be thinking: "Joyce is not working, wat the hell is she busy with!?!" Exactly, same question on my mind, I've got no idea too. So, before I wrote the following things, I thought for a few minutes and tried to recap all the happenings.

Ok, was really busy with Mr Wood's father's health condition. He was suffering from cirrhosis (liver hardening) due to a long period of hep C and also coz of late diagnose. His condition was pretty bad recently & he's old. Mr Wood's sis is now out-stationed in HK, staying for long, & his bro is in NS... so it's only him who's taking care of his dad. Kinda pity him, gotta handle stressful work in Airforce & his dad's tedious health condition. I juz feel that I need to be there to share his burden & give him sound advice. I could cry for him... both for the unfortunate events & my dilemma.

Thus, I was there for him, accompanying his parents to NUH for check up... run errands for Mr Wood... check out on some medical info. Oh! forgot to say, I actually accompanied Mr Wood's mum to this temple in Jurong for 'ask the god' session (aka 'wen shen'). Ofcoz! I dun believe in such things!! But since the elderly wans to go, got no choice but to tag along to ensure we noe what is happening. Haha! The 'wen shen' is really hilarious (I apologised to God for my rudeness & offence if the session is for true), but i'm thinking, why dun they pay me & ask me??? Since the answers 'the god' gave is sooo 'general knowledge'! I can give better suggestions lor! Duh! Once again, God, pardon my rudeness please, if the answers were really given by YOU, lord.

Todae I juz went to this TMC (Traditional Chinese Medicine) clinic with Mr Wood. Med there is really exp! S$500 for a week of medicine.. oh my gosh! but well, wat to do? Since the med is working for his dad.. and in western doc's point of view, only a liver transplant can save him now. No choice, we turned to TMC. Ofcoz, i have to be there to ensure the physician is someone reputable & not out to hoax people!!! Somehow, when a person who is in need of help desparately will do alot of irrational things to get a glimpse of hope. No, I wun allow Mr Wood to do that.

Todae, all of us are feeling much better. Everything settled down abit & Mr Wood has slightly relaxed himself. At least his dad is showing slight improvement & we are seeing hope in TCM. May god bless us. Felt happy when we went out todae, for once things seem to be looking good as before. At least Mr Wood responded to what I said and joked. Yes, finally I hear him joked after so long! Great feeling. Felt loved again. Had so much problems & conflicts with him for the past few months. Sometimes I feel like I'm a pain in the neck for making a fuss when he's there worrying for his dad. But Stonez, u all noe what agony (Ser noes more tho') i'm going thru rite? How do I not voice out? I will go nuts!!! Sign... hope things will only get better.

Was busy looking for jobs too... sent lotsa resumes & called my job agent. Hopefully there will be news next week. Sent this resume to airport for a transit lounge marketing job, hope i'll get it.

Met up a few times with Eliza & Gwen this 2 weeks (my Auston clique), life isn't easy for them too. Eliza wanna change job & got prob looking for jobs too (and she's with working exp, wats wrong with the job mkt!). Gwen has got problems in relationship & at home. Haiz.. 3 pitiful gals.. hence, we went yoga to relax our mind & body. In the end, we suffered 'jia lat' muscles ache! Argh! Not so relaxing after all...

Enjoying my French class with Ser. Although it's really tongue twisting and brain cracking, but it's real fun. Ser agree rite!? Haha... so next time we shall tok to Kar in French & she wun noe that we r scolding her... hahahaa... (Juz kidding Kar) ;)

K lah... enuff of updates. Thanx for attention if u did really bother to read it all! Pals thanx for being there :)