Running in circles

It has been quite some time since I last blogged. The CNY period was real busy, all the spring cleaning, dinners, house visits, mahjong sessions... but it's pretty eventful tho'. Sometimes I wonder how do some people juggle between career, social life, & housechores? It's only 24 hrs a day. Wonder.

Now CNY is nearing to its end. Time flies... its gonna be March soon. And guess what? I'm still jobless! Haiz... Really hate the job hunting process, hate editing my resume now & then, hate the feeling of waiting for phone calls, hate rejections. Friends said I was being choosy. Haha... Well, I guess maybe. I dun go for 'sky-high' pays, but I go for job scopes. I can easily settle for any temp jobs, but since this is gonna be my perm job... I think I should be more particular in getting one which better suits my preference.

Now, my situation is kinda being stuck in nowhere. Its either me being under-qualified with too little experience, or me being over-qualified. So, message for those who intend to further their studies all the way, bear in mind that companies out there look out for experiences too. Even if the brilliant you have a Masters Degree or Doctorate, without experiences, everything's futile.

Joyce has no idea where she is now. She has lost her sense of directions. No one to guide her way. She's like running in circles, no way out. Her future looks bleak. Hence, forgive her for being grouchy.

A Motherless Child

How many people actually understand the life of a child with single parent? People kept telling me since I was 10 years old, that they undertsand how I feel. But no, I doubt they do. Growing up with only one parent is tough. It's juz like a handicapped child, mentally & physically handicapped.

Life might appear to be easy, but its never is. Children raised by single parents are forced to mature faster. We must be strong enough to take care of ourselves. We need to brave ourselves through all the obstacles in life. And every single decision we make in our life, we have to think twice, or perhaps, thrice or more. Becoz whatever our decisions are, our parent is often the crucial factor.

Children like us face much confusion in life. We often wished we have a complete family. But when our parent found a new partner, subconciously, some part of us object the idea. I'm still not sure why this kinda rejection feeling surfaced. Is it because we really miss the parent we lost, or because we refuse to adapt to a new environment?

Well, there are more problems that we faced which can't be written down in words. Separation, divorce, death, of parents cause too much of an impact on their child. Too much for us to handle.

I just wanna say I admire my dad. I love him for all the things he done for us over the past 12 years. I know life was harder for him than for us. He was brave, very brave. Still, I miss my mum, very much.