Life's every changing

The last time when I blogged, I was feeling down. This time round when I am blogging, I am still feeling down. I can't remember when was the last time I am problem-free. Maybe when I was in primary one? Can't recall. Ask me about the happiest moment in my life, and I'll be tougue tight.

I am holding a job that pays me peanuts (yes, its the 'peanuts' again) but causes many cuts on my hands and ends my day with dirty clothes and pimpled face. C**S rejected my application in juz one day. Why? it's juz an a**p**t executive post and I am not suitable!?! I really would like to know the reason, but well, it's not given.

I'm with a boyfriend who treats me worse than a 'peanut'. Words like 'I love you', 'I miss you', 'How's your day?' have never been heard sincerely from him since like 3 years ago. He dun even remember things I've told him and he can't be bothered to find out what I like anymore. When he treats me like this, he can't blame me for treating him coldly. I can't smile when I see him, coz I dun see him smiling at me too. He smiled when he toks about his friends, but not at me.

Looking back at old photos, I can't imagine the kgs that I've put on. Seems like I have been eating too well lately and obviously not exercising enough. Most prob that's the reason why my boyfriend no longer loves me and the job is paying me peanuts. Discrimination.

Friends are getting attached and slowly they are leaving me alone. Not that they want, but they are too busy being in love. I understand. I am ONCE in love too.

I have an audition next week, but not having high hopes. Since my life is so miserable recently, nothing too good will turn out for me right?

I muz have done much evil in my past life.